The D-Word's life is one of glamour and riches, as only a documentary filmmaker can live it

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I should be feeling excited.

My first documentary, my baby, my pride and joy, The Heck With Hollywood is getting a new life on Bravo in two days.

The fact that both Bravo and the Independent Film Channel scooped Heck up immediately after its PBS license period expired, almost ten years from the date I began shooting it, is a testament to both its timeliness and timelessness (if I must say so myself). It’s about the struggles of first-time indie filmmakers to get their movies finished and out into the cold, cruel world. Today, of course, there’s more hullabaloo over indie films than ever. But because the film is more about people valliantly chasing their dreams against improbable odds, it’s a story that will never go out of date.

So check it out, this Sunday, the 22nd, at 7pm and 2am, or next Wednesday, the 25th, at 10pm and 1am, on Bravo. Each channel gets 25 showings over the next three years, so look for it to pop up again every so often.

Things are also going great guns with my current fetus, Home Page. Jane and I signed our agreement at last, so I officially have a producer. Esther is officially on board as co-producer. Jared is a godsend: he’s gone from part-time assistant editor (for maybe two or three weeks to help us digitize the footage) to post-production coordinator for the entire production. And a bright young intern, Ian, fell into our laps the other day. It’s not just me and Debbie any more, it’s a real team effort.

But it’s hard for me to celebrate, my thoughts are with Electric Minds. A mere seven months after the launch of one of the Web’s best sites (Time Magazine named it one of the year’s ten-best), it’s about to go under.

Spent a good part of the past few days reading the conversation threads in the E-Minds Commons and it wrenches my heart. Justin and Howard and the time leading up to the launch of E-Minds is the very spine of my film. And while the turn of events leaves me with a powerful bittersweet ending, I’m sad for the community that’s grown with the site.

Also feel the weight of being an outsider. Though I’m a member, I’ve had little time to even lurk, much less participate in discussions. And now when I’d like to get on and throw in my support, I find myself unable to come up with the words. Feels like way too little, too late.

What would I say? Well, at least you’ll be able to relive the glory days when Home Page finally comes out?

Last night I did some taping off my computer screen of the Electric Minds site. Just in case it goes dark. Panned around the circle of faces of the hosts of World Wide Jam: Sydney, Frankfurt, Paris, London, New York, Justin.

Thought through how to represent the conversations without just showing a screen full of small unreadable text. Figured the main point was to show the breath of conversation, so I scrolled down the 400-plus postings in the Keeping the Commity Alive thread and let the rolling text make the point. Then I zoomed closer and repeated the scroll. Then closer still. Then I moved in so tight on the words that you could make them out almost individually as they flashed by. We’ll connect the scrolls in the editing. Finally, I zoomed in until the words went out of focus and only shapes and patterns flew by and even they dissolved into a foggy gray mush.

Then I found Howard’s beaming face on the E-Minds home page. He has that puckish grin -- he works hard at his goofy persona -- but I’ve more often experienced his withering glare.

During the few days I shot with Howard, he showed little tolerance for my presence. He was stressed, up to his ears in money pressures, weighed down by the responsibility of being the czar, feeling his neck squarely on the virtual chopping block.

Unlike certain others featured in the film, he’s shown no interest or curiosity after the fact in how the film is going.

It’s okay. I’m after something far more important than whether he likes me or not. I’m after the larger truth of what Howard represents, which is the urge in all of us to connect to our fellow human beings. To remind people seeing the film that the Web isn’t about selling products or playing games, and it isn’t just about getting information. It’s also a social medium, and no one has extended himself more towards realizing the vision of an interconnected planet than Mr. Rheingold. History will treat him kindly, at least if I have anything to do with it.

I start on a close-up of his face. His baby was launched to great critical acclaim, but when it comes to business models, film or Web, it’s a cold, cruel world for anyone so independent-minded. I zoom back to reveal Howard’s waving hand. The page says “Welcome,” but it’s goodbye for now.

His membership will find another place on the Web, whether it’s at an Utne forum or somewhere else. At this point in time, Virtual Community is like burning kindling and Howard and Justin helped strike the match. They may be on to other things but the fire won’t be contained.

On my monitor, I watch footage of Howard and Justin planning, scheaming, dreaming. I watch the last moments before the launch. A group of maybe 40 people stand in a circle, hold hands and chant: “Have fun!... Change the world!... Make money!... Electric Minds!...”

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